Northern Hinterlands, Third War
The rain was coming down in sheets, the wind cold and biting. He had been running for so long, with nothing but the armor on his back. His waterskin was nearly empty, and he hadn't eaten in over a day. Unseen tears streamed down his face, hidden by mixing with the freezing rain. He had failed.
I failed. I failed my father and brother's memories. I failed my country. I failed my prince. I failed myself. What soldier runs from his duties? What soldier refuses to serve when his prince demands it? What soldier turns traitor and becomes a coward? Hannah lied. These tears won't ever clean me of the poison of what I've done. Not ever.
He tripped and fell into the hard, cold mud. His shield arm fell at an awkward angle, causing him to cry out in pain. He bit his tongue, hoping any who might be following him hadn't heard. He didn't even know if anyone was following him anymore. Surely someone will have noticed he had deserted. It was only a matter of time before he was caught and brought to justice as a traitor.
The wind was getting colder, as was the rain, which had turned into bits of ice that pelted his armor and chilled him to the bone, even through his cloak and tunic. The ground had turned to a slush, a mix of water, mud, and ice. He had climbed high into the mountains at this point, though he couldn't tell where, exactly. He had lost his way days ago, and he didn't care. In fact, he didn't want to know where he was. All he wanted now was to die. Alone.
But I'm afraid. I know I should die, I should pay for my treason, but I don't actually want to be alone. And gods it's cold!
He continued on for hours, cradling his hurt arm and cursing under his breath. Any passerby, if there had been any, would have thought him mad. His clothing torn, his armor in disarray, his face disheveled... it wouldn't have surprised him in the least if they thought him mad. And he wouldn't have cared.
I'll never get the prince's words out of my head. I'll never forget. I'm a traitor. I turned my back on everything I've ever stood for. But... but I couldn't do it. I couldn't do what the prince demanded... I couldn't slaughter them all, like cattle. No matter what they would become... I couldn't do it. I may have no honor, but at least I can say I didn't raise my sword against an innocent. Even if they wouldn't be innocent for long.
He dropped, then, of exhaustion, to the ground, now covered in uneven snow. I'm so cold... freezing. I think I'll just rest, just for a moment. I'll continue on, continue walking until I get to a town, if there are any bastions of civilization out here, but... but I need a moment, just a moment...
His eyes closed, then, tears still leaking from beneath his lashes, the light snow falling silently all around.
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